…..Of course he’d say he’ll marry her, would he say no under this circumstance?
Suddenly her senses came back, like one slapped back into reality
what was she doing??? After keeping herself for twenty five years, this wasn’t going to happen, he had already removed her shirt.
She stayed still and stopped responding to his kisses, ‘Seth stop…he didn’t…’Seth…stop. He was totally lost and either couldn’t hear her or was pretending.
Seth stop! She pushed him.
He looked at her, and instantly she could see shame in his eyes, he looked down.tears filled her eyes as she wore her shirt hurriedly,’ please leave..
He did and she broke down
She started to weep, this was her fault, she had insinuated it but why did she feel so hurt? Maybe she had expected him to love her enough to stop her. She’s always had unrealistic expectations from her relationships, but did she ask for too much? Why can’t they just love me as much as I want!
She cried from her heart inside out. So she was ready to give it all in order for Seth to love her the way she wanted, she was so close.
She asked herself several times,” how far would I go to be loved?
She cried herself to sleep and the next morning she had to call in sick, her head was swirling in different directions.
She finally got up from her bed at 4pm and switched on her phone, his messages came flying in…she couldn’t read them.
She decided to drag herself to church for the evening service. She didn’t know why she chose to go the church of all places, where guilt would override her.
She sat at the back to avoid people from seeing her conspicuous eye bags. Has she really hit rock bottom that she was ready to give her virginity in exchange for affection?
She shook her head for the umpteenth time, it was time for the sermon and she sure needed a distraction from this heart wrenching thought.
“Church I have to let you know something today, God loves you! Yes, I know you’ve heard this countless times but have you embraced His love?
He loves you so much he gave his only son to die so you and I can have a relationship with him. Yes a relationship, not like the ones we have out here but one that is unconditional. The unique thing about this relationship is that, he loves you no matter what…no matter what it is.
He wants to talk to all the time, he is never tired of you! And he most definitely won’t give up on you.
So it hurts him every time you look for that LOVE elsewhere.
Sarah looked to the pastor, he wasn’t even looking at her, why was he speaking as though he knew what was going on in her life.
The pastor went silent for some time and then he said;
I don’t know who this is for but if you’re looking for perfect love elsewhere, you won’t find it. When you are out and about looking for that perfect love, he’s right beside you wanting for you to experience the only perfect love, the GOD-KIND OF LOVE.
Sarah thought to herself, “what I’ve been searching for has been right here with me, I was looking for someone that would give me all the attention I wanted when God was there all along”. He already loves me”, not because I did something to deserve it like I’ve always had to do, he just loves me!
“Church, you see his love is so perfect that he loved you even before you were born! Jeremiah 1:5 says “before I formed you in the belly, I knew you; and before you came out of the womb I sanctified you!
“He loved me before I was born…these words I’ve heard since Sunday school but they just make sense now.
“Now if that isn’t love I don’t know what is church”.
Sarah walked out of church that day with a different mind, she decided that she would not seek perfect love from men or any human because she had begun to feel that love and it didn’t involve a man.
All her life she had thought, all she needed was someone to love her when in reality, the almighty has always been in love with her even before she was born.
Tears flowed down her cheeks, but they were tears of joy.
It is indeed true when the bible says that, “my people suffer because of lack of knowledge”. This wasn’t just knowledge but knowledge experienced
She called Seth and apologized, he wanted them to get back together but she said she needed time away from relationships, she told him to move on. It was very difficult but she knew she had to make the choice. Most of all she wanted God to work through and in her.
She finally finished her testimony as all the youths in the program clapped loudly, her husband was behind the hall cheering her on.
She had met him after a year she broke it off with Seth and this time she was a transformed woman, not searching for some love but already deep in the PERFECT LOVE
Blessed one, the one and only perfect love Is the one God has towards us, any other love is an imitation of his love. If you’re in a relationship be it friendship or courtship make sure the foundation is on HIS PERFECT LOVE.
For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. -Romans: 8. 38-39
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